We were told last week (my first lesson back after the operation) that we have grading in 3 weeks. Now I know that I will not be ready for it, i mean my fitness has gone to pieces, I could only manage the first 20 odd minutes of the lesson before going to sit outside for the rest. I can't do sit ups or anything yet, I don't know why, recovery shouldn't take this long, im back running, but my taekwondo has gone to pieces. I can't remember patterns or anything, missed learning one of them. I have no idea if it is a defence thing, but I was getting the pains again, and thus getting really paranoid they didn't take the appendix out like they said, which i know is stupid. It just hurt doing it and basically my stomach muscles are awful, no idea why. *end rant about muscles and such*
About the grading, I am so angry at myself, I know, *know* I will not be able to do it, as it involves sit ups, knowing the patterns, theory, and it is a very tough work out for it, it really does take it out of you when you are healthy. I am so competitive and strive on not falling behind on things like this, I hate it when people who are at the same level as I am achieve more, and I know that the people on the same belt as me going up to the higher one, and me not, will make me feel like crap, I will end up wanting to quit.
I don't know what to do, I can't ask about it because he will think I am stupid when the answer is so obvious. I am not fit enough, I am not good enough.
Im screwed. I hate the fact I make a huge fuss over a small thing. I hate that I have wasted your time and feeling slightly sorry for myself/ being pathetic.
Hope all are well, sorry .
Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Saturday, 6 March 2010
Help please (blog related)
I keep getting these annoying square messages on my posts. Anyone know how to stop them? I have changed the password ages ago but just got an email saying I have another post, the square thing again, one can be seen on "hospital"
anoying, thanks in advance
anoying, thanks in advance
Friday, 12 February 2010
Hospital
hmm well I guess I should blog about this as it is a pretty significant thing that has happened!
This isn't going to be well written because I can't be bothered so yeah...
Tuesday I felt ill with severe stomach pains so was off school (started getting them on the bus monday night). Parents decided to take me to hospital tuesday night and there I stayed up until about an hour ago...
So basically went to the doctor lady and she done some tests then sent me up to the surgical assessment unit where they examined me and stole some bloods. They told me I had an appendicitus. Then I was escorted to a ward with 3 other people and they were all really nice :) I was then given some drugs and anti sickness which nearly made me faint ::) Erm, then what happened, oh I had to fast from midnight and had hardly eaten anything anyway, I fasted til 4pm, so for 16 hours ¬_¬ instead of 8. Then had to put on the gown, and was taken to surgery. They asked if I measured in cm or inches and I can't remember what else. I was woken up and in recovery and hurt loads. I remember being taken to the ward and seeing mum and dad on the way. I was all dopey from anaesthetic and felt so ill (but wasn't sick at all in hospital) apparently I was a pale green colour ::) It took 2 hours instead of 20 mins. It was key hole surgery which is basically 4 small wounds instead of one big one. I saw the picture of my insides XD
I learnt you lose ALL dignity and shizz. Yesterday I felt pretty poo as I still had some anaesthetic going around in me and had another faint feeling and sick feeling episode. By then all the nice people were gone, and 3 people I didn't know were there, 2 of which kept being sick. Erm, I was told my heart was too fast and that my heamoglobinz (no idea how to spell it and that looks nice) I had my blood stolen in the night and had pulse done every hour or so.They said I had hb of 8 or something, so have been given iron tablets and painkillers and said I was a bit aneamic. (sp?) I felt kinda ill most of the time but its out now and I am home, with proper food and stuff. I can't do things for like a month, but hey we're getting there :)
This isn't going to be well written because I can't be bothered so yeah...
Tuesday I felt ill with severe stomach pains so was off school (started getting them on the bus monday night). Parents decided to take me to hospital tuesday night and there I stayed up until about an hour ago...
So basically went to the doctor lady and she done some tests then sent me up to the surgical assessment unit where they examined me and stole some bloods. They told me I had an appendicitus. Then I was escorted to a ward with 3 other people and they were all really nice :) I was then given some drugs and anti sickness which nearly made me faint ::) Erm, then what happened, oh I had to fast from midnight and had hardly eaten anything anyway, I fasted til 4pm, so for 16 hours ¬_¬ instead of 8. Then had to put on the gown, and was taken to surgery. They asked if I measured in cm or inches and I can't remember what else. I was woken up and in recovery and hurt loads. I remember being taken to the ward and seeing mum and dad on the way. I was all dopey from anaesthetic and felt so ill (but wasn't sick at all in hospital) apparently I was a pale green colour ::) It took 2 hours instead of 20 mins. It was key hole surgery which is basically 4 small wounds instead of one big one. I saw the picture of my insides XD
I learnt you lose ALL dignity and shizz. Yesterday I felt pretty poo as I still had some anaesthetic going around in me and had another faint feeling and sick feeling episode. By then all the nice people were gone, and 3 people I didn't know were there, 2 of which kept being sick. Erm, I was told my heart was too fast and that my heamoglobinz (no idea how to spell it and that looks nice) I had my blood stolen in the night and had pulse done every hour or so.They said I had hb of 8 or something, so have been given iron tablets and painkillers and said I was a bit aneamic. (sp?) I felt kinda ill most of the time but its out now and I am home, with proper food and stuff. I can't do things for like a month, but hey we're getting there :)
Monday, 25 January 2010
Burns Night
so tonight is burns night, we are having a traditional scottish tea and I get to recite "address to a haggis"
should be a great night :)
should be a great night :)
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
Race for life
I have taken the plunge and am doing it this year for obviously, an extremely worthy cause, please help the charity by sponsoring me, any amount will be greatly appreciated
thank you all so much
www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/kerrylouise7
thank you all so much
www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/kerrylouise7
Monday, 18 January 2010
update and stuff
Ok, well I haven't done a blog in a while, and I have no work with me in my free, so hey might as well do something semi productive.
Not much has happened to be fair, I have booked my first set of driving lessons, pretty nervous but excited at the same time. I have a 2 hour lesson on my birthday so that should be pretty cool :)
Erm, I am taking part in a writing competition for our local paper on the theme of "childhood" I have written and completed my poem already and my youth group leader read it and said it was amazingly good, or something like that. I am not a fan of my own work, but the family and M said it was good, so I might as well submit it, seeing as I wrote it for that anyway... Although I still need to come up with a title and tweak it a bit, but hey that is expected.
Apart from that, I don't think there is much else, nothing nice to write about anyway. Some things are still pretty sucky but at least the exam is over. Oh, yes the exam!
I had my AS level RE retake on the 13th *shudders at the date* the college was so much more relaxed and stuff than I expected and the exam was much better, so hopefully I have done better than last time.
Oh I just remembered, my jaw disloacted last night. No idea how I could forget as it still hurts laods. I done it by biting into a tomato.... But the jaw is messed up anyway, so hey it is expected I guess. But it took 45 minutes to get it back in, but I avoided going to the hospital yay!
I think that is pretty much it for now, school is pretty much the same, as is home and stuff. I have my taekwondo grading on the 30th, so am in the process of learning the stuff, doing coursework and generally working on making "stuff" manageable. busy busy busy.
Bye :)
Not much has happened to be fair, I have booked my first set of driving lessons, pretty nervous but excited at the same time. I have a 2 hour lesson on my birthday so that should be pretty cool :)
Erm, I am taking part in a writing competition for our local paper on the theme of "childhood" I have written and completed my poem already and my youth group leader read it and said it was amazingly good, or something like that. I am not a fan of my own work, but the family and M said it was good, so I might as well submit it, seeing as I wrote it for that anyway... Although I still need to come up with a title and tweak it a bit, but hey that is expected.
Apart from that, I don't think there is much else, nothing nice to write about anyway. Some things are still pretty sucky but at least the exam is over. Oh, yes the exam!
I had my AS level RE retake on the 13th *shudders at the date* the college was so much more relaxed and stuff than I expected and the exam was much better, so hopefully I have done better than last time.
Oh I just remembered, my jaw disloacted last night. No idea how I could forget as it still hurts laods. I done it by biting into a tomato.... But the jaw is messed up anyway, so hey it is expected I guess. But it took 45 minutes to get it back in, but I avoided going to the hospital yay!
I think that is pretty much it for now, school is pretty much the same, as is home and stuff. I have my taekwondo grading on the 30th, so am in the process of learning the stuff, doing coursework and generally working on making "stuff" manageable. busy busy busy.
Bye :)
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